Ramblings...

We really haven't been up to much. Last Saturday was Alvin's birthday. So Ray and I made him a pineapple upside down cake (gross:) He loves it when his Grandma makes it so I thought I would give it a try. He said it was good but it did taste different. I guess his grandma has the "special" touch. I will leave the pineapple upside down cakes for his grandma. Then Alvin and I went out Saturday night. We went and saw a band that we know the people that play in it. We had a great time, it was good to see people we haven't seen in awhile.

We have a big 2 year birthday coming up this Friday! I cant believe it, I have a 2 year old. That amazes me. Where have these 2 years gone? Ray had his well check up today, he's 26lbs 11oz that puts him in the 38%, he is 35 inches tall which puts him in the 76%, so in other words he's tall and skinny! He was such a good boy! He didn't cry at all, he said thank you and bye to everyone, I was a very proud mommy. Lets see if we get that lucky when I take him tomorrow morning to get his pictures taken. Alvin and I are going to get him a swing set for his birthday. I really think he will enjoy one this year (and many more years) We are just going to have family over Saturday night for his birthday. Nothing real big like I did last year (that was just crazy)

Tonsils anyone? He's not screaming, he was smiling at his daddy and I just caught him with his mouth WIDE open...

I Love this boy so much..

Playing with the front door that he wont keep open, its going to be a long spring if he continues this..

Guess who got grandma and grandpa's door open? Thank goodness grandma was right there so he didn't go wondering. But we put a childproof door nob thingy on our door, you can see what he thinks of it..


I am doing OK, my doctor is treating me for an infection. I was having so pretty significant pain about 4 days after my D&C, so she put me on 2 different antibiotics. I felt better really within 24 hours of taking those. I don't understand why I have such a hard time healing with things like this. I had problems after my c-section and now this. I just want to be done with it and heal, its just a constant reminder of what I lost and I really just want to get on with it so Alvin and I can start again.
As far as emotionally goes, I have my ups and downs. I really believe in my heart that the baby we lost was a little girl, so I am going to refer to her as her. Whenever the sky at sunset looks pink and purple I think of her and it makes me happy/sad. Happy because I know she will never feel any pain and nothing bad will happen to her. Sad because I will never know what she would have looked like (although I bet she would look alot like her brother:) and that I will never get to hold her or see her smile or see Ray with her. I think for the rest of my life when I see the sky look like that I will think of her. Then I get mad when I see some pregnant lady smoking, I really wanted to hit that women!! At least she didn't smoke "in the van" with her other 2 children in it. That was so considerate of her. I'm sure she didn't even give that cigarette a second thought but my heart broke for that unborn baby. I never smoked with this baby and I lost her anyway and it is just makes me so mad! Can you tell I'm a bit bitter about that?

I ordered my remembrance braclet today. This a picture of it, this 1st charm is for date of conception, the 2ND is date of loss and the 3rd is for the due date. My stones will be for December, February and September...

I cant wait to get it. It will be a great tribute to her.

I think thats all for now. I'm going to keep my camera with me so I will have stuff to blog about (with pictures)

Bye for now!!