Why is being a parent so hard sometimes?

Today Ray had his 9 month (almost 10 month) check today! I asked Alvin's mom to go because I wanted to ask alot of questions about feeding him and because she is his care giver I thought it would be good if she heard everything, also I wasn't sure if I would need help with my hand. I went in feeling very good knowing Ray wasn't suppose to get any shots. That all changed when he had to get blood drawn!

I'm sure most of you have read about his rash, well Alvin noticed it is coming back. But this time it is just little red dots all over his back and chest, he doesn't have the big red splotches. Luckily he had his Dr. appointment today and she suggested getting blood to test for allergies. She said it was up to me but it could rule out alot. So I said "OK". We were able to go down to the lab right then. I told myself at the lab "its only one stick and it will be over" I guess I jinks it.

They called Ray back, there were 2 women waiting for us, I asked "how do you do it"? they said "in the arm"! I laid Ray down on the table I held his one arm and Charlene held his legs while the ladies tryed to get it. No luck, they told me to pick him up and they would try the other arm. At this point I'm in tears. Being a mom that I hate I said "please just get it this time". I say that because I have to deal with mom's at my job and I hate it when I get a mom that try's to tell me how to do my job, so "I'm sorry" to the ladies that took care of him. No luck again. So I asked "what now"? they said they could try again or I would have to come back and try again. They suggested to try one more time because I was there and Ray was already upset and to just get it over with. I asked them if I should leave, they said that I could and that they will take good care of him and that Grandma was doing OK so she could stay with him. Well that's what I did, I left that place like a sobbing baby (I think I was crying as hard as Ray)! That was sooooooo hard. I left the lab completely, I wanted to make sure I didn't hear him at all! I watched until I saw the door open and they came out. Guess what, Still no luck!!! So now after all that I still have to take him back (or to the hospital) They said to make sure he is well hydrated when we go back. I will be taking Charlene with me again and I probably will not go back! (I said probably, I may go back)

I know that some moms are just "wonder moms" and can watch that stuff but as for me, I cant and I cant imagine if something really bad happens to him, I don't know that I will be able to handle it! Charlene thinks that I will probably tuffin up one day, but I don't know! I hope so.

Everything else was good at his check up. He weighs 19lbs 2oz. He's just a little guy they said. I can start cutting his bottles back but because he's so little she would still like him to get 20 to 24 oz of Formula a day.

Here's a few pictures we took New Years Eve and the last weekend,

Ray and Daddy

Ray woke up at midnight, no help from all the noise makers I'm sure, but I was glad he woke up to give him a New Year's kiss
Mommy was tired too cause of all the medicine she was on cause of her surgery

Playing peek-a-boo with his very messy face

Stay away bubble's! That's what it looks like but he enjoyed them!Here's a few that I think are cute, I really like the last one! Hope everyone is doing good and I'll see you soon!